Romance Is Rape By Seduction
By Adam Shane Lawes


My name is Adam and this diary data entry 1 of 145 diary data entries here as an artist is my story. I was born on the 4th of August in Australia into a family of many mixed races so thankfully I cannot lay claim to belonging to any specific one. The first five years of my life were uneventful to say the least living in suburban Adelaide and surviving blissfully unaware in the alleged serial killer capital of this country. Then when I was five years old my parents moved my younger sister and I to the sunny hot and humid environment of the Gold Coast in Queensland, Australia where for the next couple of years we lived in a caravan trailer park and I thus started school as typical trailer trash. Then when I was seven years old and the divorce laws changed, my parents in the drunken chaos and breakdown of marriage and monogamy of what seemed to be typical trailer park trash living, decided to get divorced and my sister went to live with my mother and new stepfather whilst I lived with my father in a cheap rundown flat above a takeaway shop on the Gold Coast highway for the next four years. These four years however were the best years of my childhood as although the flat was rundown and the exhaust vent for the takeaway food shop downstairs released the greasy fumes right outside our kitchen window, it was never the less nothing like the dirty, disgusting, drunken environment of the trailer park. And even more importantly after two years of praying at the back of that caravan in bed nearly every night sometimes all night, I no longer had to hear my parents constantly fight. As then, although I hardly saw my father during weekdays as he was either working or hunting for a new wife, there was always adequate food money on the table for each day when I woke up, and he even bought me a guitar which I had asked for and which every weekend at my father’s wild parties that he held to rebel against his loneliness and a divorce he did not want, I had a drunken but attentive never the less audience to perform to. However these years of relative childhood bliss and personal freedom suddenly came to an end when I was eleven and my father introduced me to what was to be my stepfamily until I was sixteen years old and they are the cruelest people I have ever known - and where after too many years of every type of horrific abuse, I became hellbent on revenge at the age of sixteen years old as I planned and I tried to publicly sexually rape my younger thirteen year old stepsister at a family New Years Eve party - and this tragic event along with the other horrible events in my life has now left me living in a state of severe sickness, stress, despair, guilt, remorse, anguish and all alone with no hope for romance…and so here I am now hopeless and homeless hiding out in a cemetery in Melbourne.

© Copyright Adam Shane Lawes