Romance
Is Rape By Seduction
By Adam
Shane Lawes
MY DIARY DIGITAL
DATA ENTRY 139 OF 145
Tonight I decided to go for a walk through the
central business district of Melbourne - and in the C.B.D of Melbourne I ended
up at The State Library Of Victoria where they are finishing renovating part of
the massive entire city square block building that The State Library Of
Victoria occupies - and alone in the dark and in the cold of another Melbourne
winter night - I decided to sneek in and take a look at the old part of The
State Library Of Victoria that they are renovating - and before I knew it I was
lost inside the construction that was going on and ended up in a corridor that
led into another corridor which then led down an old flight of stairs and
through a door that then opened into a massive brightly lit basement room full
of row upon row of books - and it was then when I saw a couple of Librarians
walking around down there in the basement among all the books that I realised
that The State Library Of Victoria was still open as I had obviously gone to
the early church charity food van stop in Fitzroy - and so seeing a Librarian
not more than 20 metres from me down there in what was obviously a staff-only
basement book storage area at The State Library Of Victoria - in panic I
immediately crouched down and then did a commando roll over to the next row of
books so as to avoid being spotted by that particular State Library Of Victoria
staff member - but then I realised that despite the fact that I was trespassing
on territory where I should not be - it was entirely unintentional that I had
ended up so far down there in that basement book storage area of The State
Library Of Victoria - and so if I got caught I would only have to explain
myself and my situation to a Librarian and not instead for example to some
possible warlord of some foreign enemy army territory - so the commando rolls
along the ground down there in that basement book storage area of The State
Library Of Victoria were probably a bit unnecessary and over the top
considering my abovementioned situation - however I still wanted to find a discreet
way out of that massive underground basement book storage area of The State
Library Of Victoria - and so with all the activity from The State Library Of
Victoria staff members still going on down there in that basement book storage
area of The State Library Of Victoria at that time - I then crawled across the
cement floor and curled up into the darkest and most discreet corner of that
massive underground basement book storage area at The State Library Of Victoria
- and then curled up and hidden in that corner down there - before I knew it I
fell asleep - and had the most vivid supernatural dream about The State Library
Of Victoria - and a possible ghost of a former State Library Of Victoria staff
member - and the ghost of a physically dead girl called Laura - as after I fell
asleep I went into this horrible, eerie uncomfortable state where I was aware
that I was asleep and dreaming and that there was an unknown eerie presence
around me - however I could not shake myself awake and back into full waking consciousness
- and so then asleep down there in that basement I was then approached by a
stern, middle-aged, female Librarian who was dressed in a black and grey
business skirt and coat and who was dead but looked alive but who I somehow
instinctively knew was dead - and which knowing that created that horrible
eerie feeling that had by then completely surrounded me and my whole situation
down there in that basement - and then suddenly that stern female Librarian
started lecturing me about how important libraries in society are because they
allow the impoverished social underclass to still have access to information to
learn from and increase their awareness despite their impoverished and
oppressed social underclass position - and then that stern female librarian
physically dead ghost began lecturing me about how each night the basement of
The State Library Of Victoria becomes a portal for a playground of Purgatory
for some of the dead souls to roam within - and the ghost of that physically
dead librarian put an emphasis on the word - some - when she said it to me by
sneering sternly at me - and then she continued her lecture by stating that
each night down there in the subterranean basement of The State library Of
Victoria - the physically dead ghosts of specific souls from some of the more
reasonable realms of Purgatory in the Hellish realms of the Underworld are
forced to wander throughout The State Library Of Victoria for two reasons - the
first reason being so that they can continue to learn from the realm of the
living - and the second reason being that wandering throughout The State
Library Of Victoria each evening is each particular spirit-soul-ghost who is
forced to do so - form of Purgatory in connection with some act of specific
denial against life that they made when they were physically alive and existing
within the realm of the living - And it was then that stern middle-aged
librarian introduced me to the beautiful spirit-soul-ghost of a physically
deceased girl called Laura - and then she disappeared leaving me alone with the
spirit-soul-ghost of a girl called Laura who then began to tell me her story
down there in that basement book storage area at The State Library Of Victoria
- And I will not delve any further into the obvious initial emotions of fear,
shock and awe at what I was experiencing in my dream down there in that
basement - however the beautiful spirit-ghost-soul of the physically deceased
girl called Laura gradually put me at ease as she told me that she meant me no
harm and that I shouldn't be afraid in anyway about what was happening -
because in the dream realm - which is more interconnected to the underworld
realm of physically dead people - we are all spirit's-soul's-ghost's - it is
just that my spirit-soul-ghost is currently existing inside a physical body and
in the realm of the physical world - whilst she is a spirit-ghost-soul that
currently has no physical body and exists in the realm of the underworld spirit
world - and in that interconnected dream realm state we all appear to each
other as our own individual selves in spirit-soul-ghost form - regardless of
whether we are in a physical body or not at the time - and what she said made
perfect sense and slightly eased the entirely overwhelming frightening
eerieness of the whole situation - and so I stopped trying to shake myself
awake out of fear and back into full waking consciousness after that - however
that constant sense of unease from the innate eerieness of the whole situation
still remained throughout the entirety of my supernatural dream as I slept down
there in that basement of The State Library Of Victoria - and then the
spirit-ghost-soul of Laura began to tell me her story - as she said that for
some reason she had been told to by the spirit-soul-ghost of that physically
dead librarian who controls The State Library Of Victoria for the Underworld
each night - and so Laura told me of her childhood growing up in the city of
Canberra in the Australian Capital Territory - where like most people from this
generation - her parents divorced when she was young and she lived with her
father and her older brother - and in what was very uncannily similar to the
girl Alice who I had just met at the start of this month - Laura grew up in a
home where she was not necessarily abused and/or neglected - however she was
not given any attention or love by any parental figures as her father was a
psychologist who Laura said was good at solving other people's problems and
personal issues - however he was totally useless at dealing with and solving
his own and his family's problems and personal issues that needed to be dealt
with - and so just like Alice - Laura when she was physically alive in this
world - began a sexually incestuous relationship with her brother in their
teenage pubescent years - however unlike Alice who instigated her sexually
incestuous relationship with her younger brother in their pubescent teenage
years out of a confused and innocent at the time desire for affection which
manifested and turned into a sexually incestuous relationship with her younger
brother in their pubescent years in a home where there was no affection or love
- with Laura it was her older brother who instigated the sexually incestuous
relationship with her and which Laura then crying told me - just like Alice did
earlier this month - that at the time it did not feel wrong - and she did not
know it was wrong - and it felt good to her and her older brother at the time -
as their desire and need for affection manifested in a sibling sexually
incestuous way in a home that was overly mentally orientated and emotionally
sterile and void of any love and affection - however then Laura said that when
her father eventually caught them in the act he scolded them both and made them
feel extremely ashamed of themselves - and without any further explanation he
then separated them both by sending her older brother away to live in a private
boarding school whilst Laura remained behind to live with her overly mental and
unemotional academic professional psychologist father - who then basically
ignored Laura for her remaining teenage years that she lived with him - and the
last Laura heard of her brother was when she was physically alive when she rang
him not long before her death - and he was living in Oxford Street in the city
of Sydney in the state of New South Wales - and he told her on the phone in
what Laura said was a very annoyingly fake effeminate and a contrived and
pretentious camp voice that he was gay and was too 'happy' and having too much
'fun' on the drugs alcohol and ecstasy to listen to her 'problems' and 'issues'
- and in terms of her overly mental and unemotional academic professional
psychologist father - well after Laura ran away from her father's overly mental
and emotionally sterile home in Canberra in the late 1990's and moved to
Melbourne - she never contacted or saw her father again - for at the age of
sixteen Laura dropped out of high school and ran away to Melbourne in the late
1990's - and straight into a full-on heroin epidemic that Melbourne was experiencing
at the time - and which occurred whilst I was in the final years of my solitary
confinement ten year jail sentence - and which Alice described to me earlier
this month when she was living with me here at the cemetery before she left for
her new life in Hobart in Tasmania - for just like Alice - Laura quickly became
addicted to heroin as it took away all the horrible anxiety that had permeated
her entire existence up to that point in her life - and then she just became
numb to it all - however unlike Alice who prostituted herself once she got
addicted to heroin to pay for her ever increasing smack habit - Laura instead
hooked up with a heroin dealer and became his girlfriend for most of her heroin
addiction - and Laura's boyfriend dealt heroin in the arcades of Russell Street
in the Central Business District of Melbourne - which despite being cleaned up
of all signs of a heroin epidemic now - back then it was smack central for any
heroin dealer and customer - and that part of Russell Street is also located
not more than 100 meters down the road from the back of The State Library Of
Victoria building - and so eventually each day after having her morning hit of
heroin with her boyfriend to both get high and also to stop themselves hanging
out in painful heroin withdrawal - and then in between heroin hits throughout
the day and the evening whilst she waited for her boyfriend - Laura began to
spend her spare time whilst her boyfriend dealt smack on the street - indulging
her love of reading by venturing down the road to The State Library Of Victoria
- and after about 18 months of living like this and spending every day reading
at The State Library Of Victoria - and also becoming increasingly bored with
the emotional emptiness that goes with heroin addiction - and also the ever
increasing lack of libido and/or lust and/or passion that was occurring between
her and her heroin dealing boyfriend - which was a natural and unavoidable
result of not just their coupling relationship but also the innate apathetic effects
of heroin addiction - and so with some hope and passion still left inside her -
Laura decided that she wanted to clean up her life and try get off of her
heroin addiction and become a Librarian - both because of her passion for
reading and also the comfort and happiness that she felt spending her days and
evenings hanging out at The State Library Of Victoria and her ever increasing
boredom and contempt for her life as a heroin addict - and so Laura broke up
with her heroin dealing boyfriend in a relationship that had long been void of
any lust and/or passion and/or feeling - and she moved into a cheap studio
bedsitter flat on her own - and went onto the methadone program to stop using
the heroin which she neither wanted nor could afford anymore - and then she got
a evening job in a city restaurant as a waitress - and she did her best to find
a way that she could fulfill her passion and dream of becoming a Librarian -
and that is when Laura hit a wall - because she had dropped out of high school
and moved out of a horrible home at the age of sixteen years old - she would
have to either go back to high school for another two years whilst living out
of home and working at night - or she would have to wait more than three years
until she was twenty-one years old and then hope to try and gain entry as a
mature age student then - and back then in the late 1990's here in Australia
there was a fair bit of talk about bringing in up-front university fees for
every university student - despite the fact that the politicians and people
doing the talking about bringing in up-front fees did their university degrees
for free unlike since the start of the 1990's when fees began to be applied to
university degrees in Australia - and also what those politicians and people did
not say but knew and planned upon was the fact that bringing in up-front
university fees would obviously maintain and increase our society's class
divisions by preventing the financially struggling social lower class and
social underclass from getting an education to get a better job and have a
better life by making it so difficult for them to get a proper university
education because they would have to work some horrible job for many years
before they started their university degree and/or throughout their university
degree to pay the expensive up-front university fees that would be required of
them to be allowed to study at a university institution and get an education if
up-front university fees were brought in and made compulsory here in Australia
- and so faced with this dilemma and delay of getting into university to study
a university degree to fulfill her passion of becoming a librarian in order to
work a job that she would actually be passionate about and want to do - and
also stuck in a dead-end job waitressing in a restaurant where she was
underpaid and constantly mistreated shift after shift in patronising,
condescending and other psychologically abusive ways - (and psychological abuse
is also a form of physical abuse as well) - by the management that she worked
for and the customers that she had to serve in order to financially support
herself and survive in society - and so eventually Laura began to play with
heroin once again in order to become numb and oblivious as possible to her
horrible job and life and place in society - and the more that her situation
become increasingly mundane and miserable - the harder Laura began to play with
heroin - until one night near the end of the year 1999 after a horrible big
shift at work waitressing in the restaurant - Laura went home and had a big hit
of heroin and accidently overdosed and physically died there alone in her
studio bedsitter room - however Laura's state of smack induced sedation and
oblivion did not last long as immediately after she physically died a tall,
shrouded cloaked male figure in black - whose face was obscured and shrouded
beyond recognition - began to cleave then drag her still sedated
spirit-soul-ghost out of her physical body - and as this occurred Laura became
completely aware of what had just happened and what was happening - and in her
shock and fear she tried to see who was cleaving and dragging her sedated
spirit-soul-ghost out of her physical body - was it Azrael? - was it the Devil?
- whoever it was she could not tell - however that shrouded specter seemed
neither benevolent nor malevolent to her - just sternly and seriously aware of
what needed to be done and the task at hand - and then Phoebe could feel her
spirit-soul-ghost-consciousness being dragged deep down beneath the earth
through a spiraling tunnel of light, energy and emotions that pummeled around
her until she was eventually left alone and still in shock on a single bed in a
small completely sealed tomb-like room in the underworld - and looking at her
spirit-soul-ghost-body and everything in that sealed tomb room deep within the
earth looked and felt just as it would possibly look in the physical realm and
the physical world above - however there was something slightly different about
it all - for despite a dull glow that seemed to permeate the entire room and
her spirit-soul-ghost-body - Laura could also feel an overwhelming sense of
eerieness to everything - and it was the eerieness of death that she could feel
- and so afraid and in shock and with her spirit-soul-ghost-consciousness still
sedated from the heroin overdose that had just physically killed her only
moments before back up in the physical world - Laura closed her eyes and
drifted in and out of a state of sporadic sleep, unpleasant dreams, frightening
nightmares, disturbing and negative thoughts and a constant state of being
severely emotionally and mentally uncomfortable and anxious - until slowly her
state of consciousness began to become clearer and finally free again from the
sedative effects of her heroin overdose - and then the tall, shrouded, cloaked
male specter figure in black - who had cleaved and dragged her
spirit-soul-ghost from her physical body on the night of her heroin overdose
back up in the physical world - appeared again down there in her subterranean
sealed tomb room - and the tall, shrouded, cloaked male specter figure did not
speak to her in the way that the physically living verbally speak to each other
- for instead he psychically spoke to her - which was a first time experience
for Laura as she could hear what he was saying in her mind almost like her own
inner thoughts sound to her - but instead with his different tone and thought
processes as distinctive and individual thoughts within her mind - and which
the tall, cloaked in black, shrouded specter male figure instructed Laura that
she could only respond to him or anyone else now by thinking her own thought
responses back to him or whoever she wanted to interact with - just as she
would normally think her own inner thoughts in the form of her individual inner
voice to herself - and then that tall, shrouded and cloaked in black male
specter figure - whose face was still shrouded in a greyish-black haze and glow
that prevented Laura from seeing what he actually distinctively looked like to
her - however whose hands she could distinctively and quite frighteningly see
were not in anyway like human hands - as instead all his fingers on each hand
were formed into a cloven single sharp fin-like metacarpus on each hand - which
unlike the rest of him that she was able to actually see - was the only real
difference besides his shrouded and cloaked greyish-black haze and glow and the
way that he would and could only psychically speak to her - that made him
different from how a man cloaked and shrouded in black in the physical world
would possibly appear to her - and the shrouded specter then psychically told
Laura that she was physically dead from a heroin overdose back up in the
physical world and that she was now existing in the underworld realm of the
physically dead and that she must follow the rules of the underworld whilst she
existed within it - the shrouded specter then psychically told Laura that the
difficult period which she had just been through down there on her bed in her
sealed subterranean underworld tomb room was a result of her
spirit-soul-ghost-consciousness needing to re-adjust after her heroin overdose
- as the consciousness of her spirit-soul-ghost was interconnected with her
consciousness as a spirit-soul-physical-person - and thus a necessary form of
withdrawal process was an innate part of her physical death and her new state
of existence as a spirit-soul-ghost down in the spirit underworld - (And in
that context - imagine the possible torment and suffering a person's spirit-soul-ghost
may go through in the spirit underworld if a person is addicted to a very
strong addictive drug such as heroin which has a very hard and painful
withdrawal process - and which I have discussed this possible notion previously
here in my diary data entries) - And then the shrouded in black male specter
spirit underworld figure psychically told Laura that each night at midnight a
darkly-lit glowing tunnel would appear within one of the side walls of her
subterranean tomb room - the shrouded specter then told her that although the
tunnel will be dark and possibly initially frightening to her - she must not be
afraid and she must always go into it each night - for if she does not she will
be forcefully dragged into the tunnel - so it is better for her to make her way
into the tunnel each evening when it appears to her - the shrouded specter then
told her that the tunnel will temporarily take her back into the world and the
realm of the physically living - where she would be allowed to spend three
hours each night released from her sealed subterranean spirit tomb room down
there in the underworld - until sometime eventually in the future when it would
be her personally appropriate time to be reincarnated back into another
physical life and incarnation again in the realm and the world of the
physically living - however until that time comes - she must remain in the
underworld and obey the rules of the underworld - Laura then tried to speak to
the shrouded specter but realised that as a spirit-soul-ghost she was unable to
verbally speak as she did when she was physically alive - and so remembering
what the shrouded specter had previously told her about the need to psychically
speak as a spirit-soul-ghost and entity of the underworld - Laura focused her
thoughts on what she would have once verbally said and instead said them in her
mind whilst projecting them to the shrouded specter at the same time - and by
doing so Laura asked the shrouded specter where the tunnel that would appear at
midnight each night would take her and what would happen once she went into
that tunnel - and then the shrouded specter psychically replied to Laura that
because of the way she had lived her life when she was physically alive and the
decisions and choices that she had made - and especially in the end in terms of
her eventual heroin overdose that lead to her physical death - she was now
contained in the underworld realm of the physically dead and classified as one
of the 'souls of the inquiring dead' - and so she was to spend her stay in the
spirit-underworld in solitary confinement in her sealed subterranean tomb room
- except for three hours each evening when the energy transport tunnel of the
spirit realm would take her many miles above her solitary sealed subterranean
tomb room and directly into the basement of The State Library Of Victoria -
which The State Library leaders of the living had named 'Amstrong Level 1' -
but which the leaders of the Underworld realm of the dead called 'Scylia' - and
there in the corridors and archives of books and other information at The State
Library Of Victoria - for three hours each night she could roam The State
Library Of Victoria and seek solace, comfort and awareness through whatever
information she allowed to sink into her soul - the shrouded specter then
psychically warned Laura that The State Library Of Victoria would look
different to the way it looks to those existing in the physical realm of the
living - Laura then psychically confessed to the shrouded specter that it had
been awhile since she had ventured into The State Library Of Victoria despite
the fact that she had only lived on the other side of Melbourne's Central
Business District when she was physically alive - because after she stopped
being a heroin addict and broke up with her heroin dealing boyfriend - she then
got stuck in a horrible dead-end job waitressing in a restaurant which got
worse and worse for her and which she then suck into apathetic despair once she
had found out how hard it would personally be for her to have fulfill her dream
of becoming a Librarian - and so she then started to play with heroin
again to numb herself to how mundane, miserable and horrible her life was stuck
in a horrible dead-end job - until alone in her one-room studio bedsitter flat
in Melbourne's C.B.D - she eventually overdosed from a big hit of heroin after
a big horrible evening shift waitressing in the restaurant where she worked -
the shrouded specter then told Laura that as one of the angel's of death in the
underworld he knew exactly what had happened to her - and then in a tone and
manner that was neither scolding and/or patronising and/or condescending - the
shrouded specter then psychically told Laura that maybe if she had continued to
visit The State Library Of Victoria and used the library to self-educate
herself despite her horrible and oppressive situation and her inability to get
a formal education and the necessary societal requirements back in the realm of
the physical living to fulfill her dream of becoming a librarian - then her
personal and societal problems - that eventually drove her over the edge and
into physical death from a heroin overdose - would not have actually been so
harsh and horrible to her - and she may have actually survived a bit longer in
the world despite her hardship - and also made her own way in the world of the
physically living despite her oppressive societal situation and her inability
to get a formal education - and also especially if she had continued the path
of being self-taught and also started to write about her own personal
experiences and personal problems and issues in the realm of the world of the
physically living that way too often does not want to face or deal with such
important issues and social taboos that occur continually behind the closed
doors of its physically living citizens - and by doing so she would have then
created something which would also remain after she physically died - and which
could also possible have some effect on some people who exist in the realm and
the world of the physically living - However what is done is now done the
shrouded specter then psychically told Laura - and if the increased class
division instigation of up-front university fees is implicated in the realm and
the world of the physically living in Australia - then self-styled and
self-taught learning - and libraries such as The State Library Of Victoria -
will become a valuable weapon for the poor to stop the wealthy spoilt brats
from the upper classes from preventing the lower class and the underclass from
getting an education and also being artistic in whatever ways that they have a
passion for - especially by abandoning thankfully increasingly outdated
astrological Piscean Age notions of having to go to university to be an artist
- and instead having people create their own art from their own life
experiences and personal and individual abilities - and also through the
process whereby the poor from the lower class and underclass follow the path of
self-styled and self-taught learning - especially by using libraries such as
The State Library Of Victoria for example to do so - and in that context Public
Service departments such as libraries like The State Library Of Victoria will
have to become increasingly financially and functionally responsible - and also
up to date with modern technological advances so that they maintain their place
and social relevance in the realm and the world of the physically living -
especially so a library does not end up becoming just a relic in society
because they have been ruined by unproductive drunken union derelicts - and
then be taken over and ruined by cruel, corrupt, conservative, corporations
like so many other former Public Service departments in our society have been -
as most employees in the Public Service do not have a clue at just how
extremely horrible working conditions now are in the Private Sector for
employees under the ever increasing control of cruel, corrupt, conservative
corporations - and thus in this abovementioned context - the social and
technological relevance and the financial and functional responsibility of
libraries such as The State Library Of Victoria must become an almost
militant-like priority - for as we enter this new 2000 year astrological age of
Aquarius - information will not only become an ever increasing very valuable
resource - but the control and access to information will also become a main
form of power in the world - and thus the tall, cloaked in black, male shrouded
specter psychically told Laura - for the poor in the lower and underclass -
libraries such as The State Library Of Victoria can ultimately be their
salvation from exiled education in their state of impoverishment and need to
educate themselves through self-styled learning and self-education - and then
the shrouded specter again psychically stated to Laura - as he had mentioned
previously - that The State Library Of Victoria looks and operates very
differently to the spirit's-soul's-ghost's of the physically dead - than it
does to those in the realm and the world of the physically living - as firstly
every book that Laura focuses upon - she will be able to psychically get a
general overview of what that book is about - and then if she decides that she
likes the book - she can psychically focus upon that book and take it to any
place in The State Library Of Victoria at night where she feels the most
comfortable - the shrouded specter then warned Laura that she may psychically
pick up on the energies and vibes of some of those from the realm and the world
of the physically living who may have read that book prior to her - and if this
happens and it starts to bother her and interfere with her ability to
concentrate on whatever book and information she is trying to focus upon and
learn from - then she can take the book down to the room that the realm and the
world of the physically living have called 'the processing room' - but which
the library leaders of the underworld have instead called 'the ritual room' -
and there one of the two Mediterranean maidservants of the underworld - being
either Angela the beautiful dark angel hunter of the haunted reading realm or
Helena the beautiful harbinger guarded by her hounds of hell - will psychically
process and cleanse the book of any unwanted energies for her - and then after
that she can once again take the book anywhere in The State Library Of Victoria
that she feels the most comfortable so that she can psychically process it -
and the shrouded specter then psychically state to Laura that most 'souls of
the inquiring dead' make their way up to the dome reading room which the
library leaders of the realm and the world of the physically living have called
'The La Trobe Dome Reading Room' - but which the library leaders of the
underworld realm of the physically dead have instead called 'Charybdis' - and
this dome reading room - for the comfort and pleasure of the 'souls of the
inquiring dead' - is astrologically lit each night by the appropriately and
slightly sternly Saturn-like dark eerie-green glow of its reading lamps - as it
once was for those in the realm and the world of the physically living at The
State Library Of Victoria - before unfortunately the notion of gentrification
grasped the minds of the leaders of the living - and they all seemingly
subconsciously decided to dissociate themselves from their present pre and past
life regression with the beautiful darkness of the underworld by removing the
copper sheets that covered the glass ceiling - and by doing so destroying that
previous and precious ambient glow of the dome reading room - however what is
done is now done the tall, cloaked in black, male, shrouded specter then
psychically said to Laura - and the lovers of light amongst the living may
currently be the leaders who rule the realm and the world of the physically
living - but the leaders of the underworld and their love of darkness shall
always be the rulers of the night and all the depth that lies beneath and
within - and then the shrouded specter psychically stated to Laura that the
second main difference between the appearance of The State Library Of Victoria
as the physically living see it and experience it - as compared to the way that
those in the realm of the underworld do - is that unlike for the
spirit's-soul's-people of the living - for the spirit's-soul's-ghost's of the
physically dead all the floors, walls, ceiling and furniture has been painted
black by the library leaders of the underworld - and then the shrouded specter
conjured up in Laura's mind beautiful, dark images of the powerful gothic
princes and princesses who rule the realms of the underworld - and by doing so
they control the aesthetics that she will now always see and live within - the
shrouded specter then psychically stated to Laura that once one of 'souls of
the inquiring dead' made a request to the library leaders of the underworld to
incorporate paintings and other images from the realm of the physically living
that tried to depict the underworld alongside the actual aesthetics of the
underworld - however after slight contemplation and debate - the request,
thought and notion was declined and abandoned upon the grounds that most images
of the underworld in the realm and the world of the living are a grotesque and
insulting misrepresentation of the underworld and all of its underlying beauty
and power - and so now those in power in the realm of the underworld have
decided to only allow our own aesthetic experiences depicting beautiful
darkness and figures of underworld nobility - however brooding, dark and
sometimes slightly frightening they maybe to the new 'souls of the inquiring
dead' in the realm of the underworld who are destined to roam each night in The
State Library Of Victoria - the shrouded specter then psychically explained to
Laura that the underworld was not specifically or explicitly a place of
punishment as it has too long been misrepresented by those in the physical
realm of the living throughout history - for instead the underworld is more a
dwelling place for the souls of the physically dead to deal with whatever it is
that they personally and specifically need to deal with before their next
personal and specific physical reincarnation back into the realm of the
physical living - the shrouded specter then psychically told Laura that it is
true that there are terrible places within the realms of the underworld - but
souls only go to a place that suits their personal needs, desires, past and
present behaviour and problems - the shrouded specter then psychically stated
to Laura that for her personally and specifically - she was to spend her time
in the underworld in solitary confinement in her small 4m by 4m subterranean
tomb room - except for three hours each night when she would be allowed and
forced to roam The State Library Of Victoria up in the land of the living - the
shrouded specter then psychically stated to Laura that she could have three
wishes granted for her personally unknown length of stay in the underworld -
the only rules being that she could not have any drugs in the underworld
because of the way that she had physically died back in the land of the living
- and so upon her arrival into the underworld Laura psychically requested - 1)
the walls, roof and floor of her subterranean tomb room to be covered with
black velveteen - 2) her bed and pillow to be covered in plush velour velvet -
and 3) a full-length mirror on the wall so that she could both see her ethereal
spirit-soul-ghost image and also practice her newly found underworld desire to
teach herself to act in front of it - and then the shrouded specter psychically
instructed Laura that at the end of her three hour visit to The State Library
Of Victoria each night she must report back to the minions in The State Library
Of Victoria security room that is located in the 'Scylia' basement room - and
after having her named crossed off by the minions she would then make her way
back into the tunnel that will specifically take her back down into her
subterranean tomb room in the underworld - Laura was then psychically warned by
the shrouded specter that should she disobey the rules of the underworld and
choose not to go back into the tunnel at the end of her three hour allocated
time period each night in The State Library Of Victoria and instead try and
stay up there inside The State Library Of Victoria - then for her
spirit-soul-ghost and her state of consciousness - the bright white neon
harshness of The State Library lit during the day combined with the equally
harsh light of the day would make her wish she had never made such a foolish
attempt and decision - the shrouded specter then psychically told Laura of a
young teenage rebellious spirit-soul-ghost-girl who use to exist in the realm
of the underworld - and who made such an attempt once during her stay in the
underworld in order to specifically get the attention of the males in the realm
of the physically living who either worked or were patrons of The State Library
Of Victoria - and throughout the day - despite being tortured by the glare from
the light in the realm of the physically living - occasionally that rebellious
young teenage spirit-soul-ghost-girl would gain some attention from the males
in the realm of the physical living - even if it was just a bewildered glance
up and a confused and embarrassed look of expression and emotion as she would
brush past them and circle around them - however this seemed enough to please
that rebellious young teenage spirit-soul-succubus-like-ghost-girl to try and
stay as a spirit-soul-ghost in The State Library Of Victoria - for the shrouded
specter psychically told Laura that contrary to some popular beliefs in the
realm of the land of the living - the spirit-soul-ghost's of the underworld
still hold onto their ego and their individual personality traits after they
have physically died and in between their physical reincarnations - for the spirit-soul
and the ego are entwined and although the ego may be affected by the physical
realm of the land of the living and also the physical biological functioning of
the body - the ego also transcends and sometimes even exists more powerfully
for some spirit-soul-ghost's in the underworld realm of the physically dead -
and often due to the fact that in the underworld there are none of the way too
often ego declining distractions and especially the unpleasant physical
functions of the body that those in the realm of the physically living have to
deal with - anyway the shrouded specter then psychically stated to Laura that
eventually the underworld minion security guards in the 'Scylia' basement at
The State Library Of Victoria caught that rebellious young teenage
spirit-soul-ghost and sent her back to her specific subterranean dwelling room
of solitary confinement in the underworld - and she was then punished by having
her nightly visitation rights to The State Library Of Victoria removed for
three years because she disobeyed the rules of her realm in the underworld -
the shrouded specter then psychically stated to Laura that she herself was very
lucky because if it was not for her passion for art and her self-styled
learning when she was physically alive - then she could have instead ended up
spending many, many years for her personal period of stay in the underworld
without her granted three hours a night visitation rights to The State Library
Of Victoria and also stuck in a state of emotional emptiness in an empty room
as a result of the way she recklessly died from a drug overdose back in the
land of the living when she was physically alive and existing there - but
ultimately because she had a passion for art and learning - then she was
fortunate enough to be granted her specific form of personal post-physical form
of existence for her personal period of stay in the underworld - and so then
the shrouded specter psychically stated to Laura - there it all is for you now
- your plush velvet room down in the underworld and the rules of your three
hours a night visitation rights up in The State Library Of Victoria - and the
rest is up to you for your personally unknown period of stay in the underworld
- and so now until I return again - which will be most likely when it is your
turn and time to learn how to psychically download data from The State Library
Of Victoria computers for your immersion into this new age of information
technology - and which I will return to teach you that when you have learnt to
first psychically process books - and so for the time being it is goodbye from
me - and with that the shrouded specter vanished and left Laura alone in her
plush velvet tomb room down in the underworld - and so Laura then sat silently
on her bed and stared at her beautiful and virtually physically equivalent but
also initially eerie spirit-soul-ghost image in the mirror and she began to
contemplate her new phase of existence as a spirit-soul-ghost in the underworld
- and the thought that her own ego, personality, individuality, consciousness
and her spirit-soul existence was all she really had in the end in all of its
entirety actually made the notion of eternity not only make sense but also
worth contemplating and continuing for Laura - as she now existed hidden down
in her velvet lined small, solitary, subterranean tomb room in the underworld
with no abusive people to deal with - especially all the abusive customers that
she use to have to serve in her waitressing job that she did to survive back in
the realm and the land of the physically living - and Laura knew from what she
had been psychically told by the shrouded specter that eventually it would be
her time to reincarnate back into the realm and the world of the physically
living again - and that notion was like a terrifying threat that filled Laura
with an underlying sense of overwhelming and uncomfortable anxiety - however
now Laura knew what to do - for with her three hours of visitation rights and
access to The State Library Of Victoria each night - she set out to psychically
read all the books on art, psychological problems and acting that she needed to
read at The State Library Of Victoria each evening to prepare herself for her
next reincarnation back into the realm and the world of the physically living -
and on that note Laura smiled and said goodbye to me - and then with a slight
shudder I woke up down there in the dark in the basement book storage area
beneath The State Library Of Victoria that was by then well and truly closed -
and slightly dazed I crawled along the floor to the nearest door and spent the
following half an hour making my way back and forth through a maze of stairs
and corridors until I eventually found my way back out onto the street - and
then I rushed back home and down into my catacomb chamber tomb room here at the
cemetery and immediately wrote this diary data entry that I have just written.
© Copyright
Adam Shane Lawes
