Romance
Is Rape By Seduction
By Adam
Shane Lawes
MY DIARY DIGITAL
DATA ENTRY 31 OF 145
This is a transcript of my stone statue ritual that
I performed a couple of hours ago here at Melbourne Cemetery - and tonight I
vented out all my anger about my personal drug use upon the stone statue of
Jesus Christ. Because there are some drugs which I personally hate - such as
alcohol and marijuana - And then there are some drugs which I had a fascination
for and liked but which I no longer have a fascination for and/or I know I
should not use again such as LSD, speed, ecstasy, cocaine and heroin - and looking
back now I can see how my drug use has in so many ways harmed my health and
ultimately helped destroy my life. And in addition to this all my so-called
‘friends’ have been drug-related and there was only ever a connection and
something to do and say if we were on drugs and/or scoring drugs or dealing
drugs. And when dealing drugs I eventually had people who were drug users that
became my customers and who I would sell drugs to but I would not hang out with
those people as friends - And I also had people who were drug users that I
thought were my friends and which I would never sell drugs too - but instead I
would give my drug 'friends' free drugs to party and socialise with whenever
they were hanging out with me. And the reason for this was because I love to
party hard on drugs sometimes - and there was something about those specific
people that I liked for whatever reason(s), and I thought that they were my
friends, and so I liked to socialise and party with them - And also I grew up
going to 12 schools - even though I never finished High School - so I never had
any real friends because I was never at a school long enough to make any real
friends - and also when I was growing up, every home or place I grew up in was
abusive and horrible and there was no fun or enjoyment for me - So when I
started to use and then also deal drugs to support my drug use - as I
previously stated, there were people who I liked and who I thought were my
friends and who I would always give free drugs to so that I could hang out and
party with them because I liked them and I thought that they were my friends -
However looking back now, every single one of those people who I thought was my
friend was not a friend to me - as they were all using me and only hanging out
with me for free drugs - And that realisation hurts my feelings - And it has
been a hard realisation for me to face that they were not my friends and that
they were all only using me for free drugs - But I have learnt my lesson now -
And now I have no more friends or so called 'friends'.
© Copyright
Adam Shane Lawes
