Romance
Is Rape By Seduction
By
Adam Shane Lawes
MY DIARY DIGITAL
DATA ENTRY 110 OF 145
Now in my search to try and become a better person
through trying to be a more emotionally sensitive person - except for being an
uncompassionate, insensitive, power-driven, psychopathic, predatory sexual male
that I sometimes am - Because in analysing my life I have realised tonight that
I have always been an emotionally sensitive person - however also in analysing
my life - there have been way too many people who have continually and
wrongfully viewed my emotional sensitivity as a sign of insecurity and weakness
and then preyed on me and picked on me - whether instinctively or consciously -
because they wrongfully sensed and viewed that my emotional sensitivity
made me vulnerable and they wrongfully viewed my emotional sensitivity as a
sign of insecurity and weakness - when emotional sensitivity definitely is not
a sign of insecurity nor weakness - because it is often so much harder to be an
emotionally sensitive person - because the more you feel the more it often
hurts you to feel - because you do not just feel the good experiences more
intensely - but you also unfortunately feel the horrible experiences and the
real-life horrors of life more intensely as well - and this also obviously
includes people preying and picking on you because they wrongfully view your
emotional sensitivity as a sign of insecurity and weakness - which means that
your state of emotional sensitivity unfortunately then does actually become a
state of personal insecurity as your life becomes a horrible state of
continually increasing anxiety - and so after years of being preyed on and
picked on from a young age because of my emotional sensitivity - including so
often in the twelve schools that I went to growing up and before I dropped out
of high school and ran away from home at the age that I was sixteen years old -
and also especially from my malicious, abusive stepmother in the horrible
real-life horror of her home that I was in from the age that I was eleven years
old until I was sixteen years old - and then in the horrible mentally mundane
and physically heavy and horrible manual labour job that I worked in for too
many where I was mistreated, bullied, ridiculed, attacked, enslaved, exploited,
oppressed and used until I was unfairly terminated and made homeless this year
- And so because of all the people who have wrongfully and continually preyed
on me throughout my whole life because they wrongfully viewed my emotional
sensitivity as a sign of insecurity and weakness - from the time that I turned
sixteen years old - I then started to just block out the emotions and the vibes
of everyone around me so I did not have to feel the horrible emotions of abuse
and my constant horrible state of anxiety anymore because I have been
continually preyed on and picked on by too many certain kinds of people who
wrongfully view my emotional sensitivity as a sign of insecurity and weakness -
and so from the age that I was sixteen years old - I just blocked out everyone
so that I did not have to feel the horrible emotions of abuse anymore - and it
was also then from the age that I was sixteen years old that my overwhelming,
uncomfortable and horrible state of anxiety from people constantly preying and
picking on me turned into an overwhelming state of suppressed anger because I
could no longer take the abuse and the resulting anxiety anymore - and thus I
became a psychopath - and so now in conclusion of this specific diary data
entry of mine - tonight - besides wondering how I can maintain my emotional
sensitivity - even when - and especially when I am being wrongfully preyed and
picked on by people who wrongfully view my emotional sensitivity as a sign of
insecurity and weakness - I am also now wondering tonight if this is how all
psychopaths are made.
© Copyright
Adam Shane Lawes
