Romance
Is Rape By Seduction
By
Adam Shane Lawes
MY DIARY DIGITAL
DATA ENTRY 67 OF 145
It is now the date of my Taurus as star-sign
stepmother's birthday - she is an abusive, atheist, alcohol-drinking,
anti-depressant addicted Anglo-Saxon-Australian, poker machine playing gambling
addicted, pot-belly-overweight from gluttony, workaholic, malicious Venus -
Taurus as star-sign stepmother who was also an anti-illicit-drug campaigner
within the community - And like anyone who drinks alcohol and who is against
illicit drugs - my malicious, abusive, alcohol-drinking abusive stepmother is a
hypocrite - Because alcohol is also a drug and alcohol kills more people each
year in this country than the deaths of all illicit drug deaths combined
together each year in this country - however because alcohol is legal my
malicious, abusive, alcohol-drinking stepmother wrongfully has a good
reputation - And in addition to being an abusive alcohol-drinker behind closed
doors - my malicious abusive stepmother was also a hairdresser who maliciously
pretended to mistakenly give bad haircuts to make certain people look bad and
feel uncomfortable because of her insecure and malice driven competitive type
of nature - And in addition to this, with her wrongful good standing within the
local community - my malicious stepmother was also a secretary on the local
school board who had the role of typing up reports on any of the local school
children who were considered to have personal problems and need psychological
counseling - and so because my malicious stepmother had an extremely malice and
insecure driven competitive nature - and she wanted to make her own two blood
children - which were my stepsister and stepbrother to look good compared to me
and the other school children of that region - my malice and insecure driven
competitive stepmother wrongfully condemned so many children as having
psychological problems to make her own two blood children look good and as
perfect as possible - and to make me and many other school children to look as
psychologically messed up as she possibly could through her corruptive and
malice and insecurity driven competitive ways in her role on the board of
education as the secretary for the local region's school counselor - And so my
malicious, abusive, alcohol-drinking stepmother is without a doubt the most
malicious person that I have ever met - and so because it is now her birthday -
I have decided to write this specific diary data entry tonight about her and
what she did to me – As my stepmother is malicious Venus at its worst - and I
hate her and I have wanted to destroy her since I was eleven years old - but
not physically destroy her - for I have done that thousands of times in my mind
- especially as a teenager - and to physically destroy her would not satisfy my
anger and violent rage and violent hatred for her - and also she may continue
to physically exist as a soul-spirit-ghost - and she may also reincarnate back
onto this earth again anyway in another physical re-incarnation - So instead I
want to psychologically destroy her - for only that would satisfy my anger and
violent rage and violent hatred that I have towards her - However that is
something that I doubt can ever be done - because she is so mentally cold and
void of any emotion and feeling and void of having a conscious and void of any
sense of morality in a personal sense - that I unfortunately and angrily doubt
that my malicious Venus Taurus as star sign stepmother could ever be
psychologically destroyed - And so now I am going to at least document in
detail in this diary data entry what my malicious Venus Taurus as star sign
stepmother did to me from the age that I was eleven years old until I was
sixteen years old when I ran away from her home - For in those horrible years
that I was in that second foster home - she constantly psychologically abused
me which also manifested in physical harm to me so psychological abuse is also
physical abuse - And the first thing that she did to me was to take away my
guitar, my books and my beloved diary notebook - And then along with my
stepsister and stepbrother she killed my pet cat that I had found living
homeless in an alleyway - by drowning my poor pet cat in the river across the
road from that horrible horse farm home - and then each morning before school
as soon as my weak blood-father had left early to go to work - my stepmother,
stepsister and stepbrother would tease me and make me cry about killing my poor
pet cat - And for those horrible years in that second foster home I was always
blamed and got into trouble for everything that her two spoilt brat children
did wrong - and which they would do to get me into trouble so that they could
then also laugh and tease me about getting me into trouble all the time for
what they themselves were doing wrong - and her two spoilt brat children were
also having a direct blood brother and sister sexually incestuous relationship
from a young age - And for those horrible years on that horrible horse farm
home - my malicious Venus Taurus as star sign, abusive, alcohol-drinking
stepmother continually told me that I had psychological problems because I love
to spend time alone reading, thinking and doing my writing and my other artwork
- and so as her punishment and to supposedly teach me a lesson because I love to
spend time alone - my stepmother cruelly and maliciously made me pick up horse
manure before school, after school and on weekends from her four horses on that
horrible horse farm on the North Coast of New South Wales - And so for those
horrible years that I was in that home from the age that I was eleven years old
until I was sixteen years old - I was constantly psychologically (and thus also
physically) abused by my malicious Venus Taurus as star sign stepmother - And
my stepmother psychologically-physically abused me in the form of constant
nagging and ridiculing - and which her two spoilt brat children would also
ridicule me as well along with her - and that constant nagging and ridiculing
resulted in me developing severe anxiety, severe stomach pains and stomach
problems and severe asthma attacks whilst I was in that horrible home - and
both my severe anxiety and the connected physical disorders that I developed
there were a physical reaction to my stepmother's psychological abuse - and
fortunately my stomach pains and stomach problems and my asthma attacks stopped
straight after I ran away from that horrible home at the age of sixteen years
old - and my severe anxiety that developed and increased from the age that I
was eleven years old - eventually turned into very violent anger and violent
rage and the desire for violent revenge and violent vengeance when I turned
sixteen years old - for at the age of sixteen years old - for as I have
detailed in one of my earlier diary data entries - when I was sixteen years old
after years of abuse in that horrible home - on my stepfamily's annual New
Years Eve party on their horrible horse farm home on the North Coast of New
South Wales - I planned and attempted to physically rape my stepsister - when I
was drunk on a bottle of rum that I had sneaked away during the start of that
New Years Eve party on my stepfamily's horse farm home on New Years Eve night –
where I then began to act out my violent plans for revenge by firstly lustfully
grabbing my younger stepsister and throwing her to the ground and I then began
to rip her clothes off and with one hand I tried to pull her panties down and
with my other hand I instinctively and aggressively held it to her throat to
hold her down on the ground so that I could rape her in front of everyone - and
in terms of that second instinctive action where I aggressively held my hand
around her neck it may possibly have something to do with past primal sexually
evolutionary behaviour when males sexually dominated females in the act of sex
- however holding my hand instinctively and aggressively around her neck may
also have something to do with the fact that I had developed severe asthma for
those years that I lived and was continually abused in that horrible stepfamily
home that I was in from the age that I was eleven years old to sixteen years
old and which I never got asthma again after that night and when I ran away the
next day on New Years Day at age sixteen - however in specific terms of my
drunken attempt to rape my younger stepsister on that New Years Eve night -
before I could actually physically-sexually penetrate and rape my younger
second step-sister after grabbing her and pulling her to the ground and ripping
her clothes off and trying to rape her - I passed out drunk on top of my
stepsister as I tried to rape her in front of my father and stepfamily and all
their friends at their New Years Eve party - and so that was how my time in
that horrible stepfamily home ended - for the next morning on New Years Day I
ran away and I moved back across the border to the Gold Coast - And so there
you have it - those years of real-life horror in the form of the psychological
(and thus physical abuse) that was done to me by my stepmother from the age I
was eleven years old until I was sixteen years old. And so now all these years
later, after spending years analysing and going over and over in my mind the
abuse that my stepmother did to me - If I had to try and give an explanation to
why I think my stepmother abused me so badly from the age I was just a young
boy at eleven years old until I finally ran away from her home at the age of
sixteen years old - after years of analysing the abuse she did to me and her
behaviour and the type of person she is - I would definitely say that the fact
that she's an abusive alcohol-drinking, anti-depressant addicted, poker-machine
playing gambling addicted, pot-belly overweight from gluttony, workaholic who
demonises being alone because she is afraid to be alone because when you are
alone you can think, feel and also create very deeply and also when you are
alone you are actually eventually forced to think about your personal issues
especially dealing with the abuse you have been through so that you can be a
better person and not also become an abuser – and so all of these
abovementioned issues played a major part in why my stepmother is the way she
is - however interconnected and underlying all of that is the fact that my
stepmother was more than likely abused by one or more males earlier in her life
and because she did not deal with her possible abuse and her definite blatant
personal problems and she instead became an abusive, atheist, alcohol-drinking,
anti-depressant addicted, poker machine playing gambling addicted, overweight
from gluttony workaholic as an excuse and as an escape from not dealing with
her personal problems and her personal issues - she then blatantly wanted to
take out all her abuse and problems onto a male - and there was obviously no
way that she was going to abuse her workaholic-work-slave husband or her spolit
brat blood son like she did to me - and so that is why from the age of eleven
years old I was then psychologically (and thus also physically) severely abused
until I was sixteen years old by my horrible abusive stepmother.
© Copyright
Adam Shane Lawes
