Romance
Is Rape By Seduction
By
Adam Shane Lawes
MY DIARY DIGITAL
DATA ENTRY 69 OF 145
Tonight I have been thinking about what I have
written in my last two diary data entries - specifically regarding my abusive
malicious Venus Taurus as star sign stepmother and her horrible abusive home -
and the way that I would always get framed and into trouble for what her two
spoilt brat children did wrong - whilst my stepmother was always obsessed with
being materially and image-wise better off than her suburban friends that she
was so often jealous of and always discretely personally competing against -
and within that context - my stepmother was also continually creating and
maintaining an image of how good her own two children were whilst how bad I was
to her friends and business associates - However behind the facade that my
stepmother created to the outside world about how good her life and family were
- was the real-life horror that her life and home really always was - and in
that real-life horror - I had to live within and feel and analyse and be aware
of it all - from the age I was eleven years old - and in continual fear and
increasing anxiety and without knowing how to stop or control the real-life
horror of my circumstances - and even when things were at their worst - and I
was feeling my most anxious - I was always constantly analysing to try and
survive in that real-life horror of that horrible home - And looking back now I
should have just ran away from that horrible home and took my chances living on
the street as a street kid - before I turned sixteen and then finally ran away
from that horrible second home when so much abuse and emotional damage had been
done to me - but to be honest - at that time - and even right up until not long
ago now that I am actually in theory actually a homeless person - for me being
homeless and having to live and survive on the streets always scared the hell
out of me - for I would always try and analyse and picture myself being
homeless and trying to live and survive on the streets - however I could never
comfortably and reassuringly enough see myself or understand how I could
practically survive homeless on the streets - especially from the age of eleven
years old when I was first put into that horrible stepfamily home - and so I
stayed in that horrible real-life horror home from the age I was eleven years
old until I was sixteen years old - and after all of those years of abuse from
my malicious stepmother I had to try to find and use various forms survival
mechanisms in order to cope and keep myself alive - until it was eventually too
late and by the time I had turned sixteen years old - my constantly increasing
and more severe anxiety eventually turned into increasingly extreme anger - and
I began to think, feel and behave like a psychopath as I planned my violent
revenge on my stepfamily after years of real-life horror in their horrible
horse farm home.
© Copyright
Adam Shane Lawes
