Romance
Is Rape By Seduction
By Adam
Shane Lawes
MY DIARY DIGITAL
DATA ENTRY 82 OF 145
It is starting to get very cold and rainy in
Melbourne now as winter begins to set in full force in this city - and I am
glad that I have been fortunate enough to find this subterranean catacomb
chamber room to live in here at the cemetery to protect me from the harsh
elements - and lately there also seems to be a certain heaviness that I can now
definitely feel - and which seems to have gradually increased throughout the
time that I have been living here at the cemetery - which is for nearly three
months now - and it feels like the heaviness and weight is from some kind of
subliminal and unknown sense of grief that permanently pervades throughout the
grounds of the cemetery - and which has been slowly increasing and pressing
upon me now that I am living here all alone at the cemetery and I have so much
time now alone to myself to think and feel - however this feeling of subliminal
and unknown grief is sometimes very unsettling for me to feel - especially when
I am trying to sleep - and also especially when I first wake up in the evening
from sleeping underground in the day here at the cemetery - and also especially
because I have always been a loner in my life and in society - including from a
young age as I went to a total of twelve schools even though I never finished
high school - and also because of all the abuse and real-life horror that I
have witnessed, experienced and been through in my life - and because of all
these reasons - I have learnt to easily block out other people and also any
feelings from other people and anything that I do not like and what I am not
used to - And so now I keep wanting to block out this unusual and unknown
subliminal grief that I am beginning to increasingly feel living here at the
cemetery because it is unsettling and unusual for me to feel - however I also
want to try and understand why I am feeling this way - especially lately as my
time living here at the cemetery increases and the weather gets colder and
harsher here in this city of Melbourne - So I think that it is best for me to
slowly try to emotionally explore and analyse this subliminal, unsettling,
unusual and unknown feeling of grief that I have increasingly been beginning to
feel lately living here at the cemetery.
© Copyright
Adam Shane Lawes
