Romance
Is Rape By Seduction
By
Adam Shane Lawes
MY DIARY DIGITAL
DATA ENTRY 84 OF 145
I woke up again this evening in this constant state
of anxiety that I am now feeling - and so now I am trying to work out just what
it exactly is that is making me feel so anxious and uncomfortable - however
whenever I try and focus to pinpoint exactly what it is that is making me feel
this way - whatever is causing this anxiety seems to slither and slide into the
darkest abyss within my mind - and into a place where any sense of clarity and
understanding cannot be reached - and so all I know now is that this anxiety
that I am constantly feeling keeps increasing for some reason - And looking
back at my life now in terms of anxiety - I first felt anxiety when my father
and my stepfamily used to ridicule me when I was in that horrible home from the
age that I was eleven years old until I ran away from that horrible home when I
was sixteen years old - and then after I ran away from home at the age of
sixteen years old - I only occasionally felt anxiety - and the first times that
I then felt anxiety was when I tried the drug marijuana three times and which
that particular drug made me feel extreme anxiety - and that is why after three
times of trying the drug marijuana I never used that drug again as I hate
marijuana - and then after a period of using the drug ecstasy - I began to feel
bad anxiety whenever I was coming down off the drug ecstasy - and so that is
why I eventually specifically stopped using the drug ecstasy – and I also felt
anxiety working that horrible mentally mundane and physically hard and horrible
manual labour nightshift job - especially when in the last year that I was there
- my cruel, corrupt corporate store manager would blame me whenever something
would go wrong on the nightshift that I used to work - and that cruel, corrupt
corporate store manager used me, oppressed me and exploited me and worked me
into the ground and make me do masses of unpaid overtime each week - until he
finally unfairly terminated me for misconduct and made me homeless - and then I
obviously felt a massive and terrifying rush of anxiety again when that
happened - however as I became settled here at the cemetery that anxiety
stopped as I had to become totally focused on surviving in a state of being
homeless - However for some unknown reason the anxiety within me has now
started again - and I do not know why this anxiety has returned now that I am all
alone and hidden here at the cemetery.
© Copyright
Adam Shane Lawes
