Romance
Is Rape By Seduction
By
Adam Shane Lawes
MY DIARY DIGITAL
DATA ENTRY 85 OF 145
This evening I woke up again in this constant state
of anxiety - and it definitely seems to be at its worst when I first wake up
from sleeping - and then after I wash and then walk to my nightly meal from the
church charity food van at the city's industrial market warehouse carpark - and
then I walk back home here again - the anxiety always increases as I leave the
cemetery grounds - however then when I return here to the cemetery again - the
anxiety again rises up and hits me even harder as I walk past some of the
life-size female angel stone statues here at the cemetery whose stone female
faces haunt me and remind me of my stepsister who I tried to wrongfully
sexually rape when I was sixteen years old - and then as I continue to walk as
fast as I can through the cemetery grounds here at night back to my catacomb
chamber room - some of the other stone female faces of some of the life-size
female angel stone statues here at the cemetery also then begin to haunt me as
they seem to stare sternly at me making me feel guilt and anguish - and as I am
haunted by the stone female faces of those stone female angels here at the
cemetery - my anxiety increases to the point where I start shuddering and
shaking and I feel like the anxiety is going to overwhelm me and I am going to
faint - until I finally make it back down here to my secret subterranean
catacomb chamber room - and then the anxiety seems to ease slightly and then
just settle down within my mind and into a constant state of just being there -
And so now that I have begun to realise what is now specifically causing this
bout of anxiety - I now just feel so anxious and afraid and weak and weary at
all this anxiety that I am now feeling - So right now I am going to try to go
to sleep earlier and for hopefully longer than usual - So that I can block out
this horrible anxiety that is now haunting me.
© Copyright
Adam Shane Lawes
