Romance
Is Rape By Seduction
By
Adam Shane Lawes
MY DIARY DIGITAL
DATA ENTRY 88 OF 145
My own mind feels like it is assaulting me - as I
am now being constantly haunted and harassed in my thoughts by the vivid and
constant memories of my personal past where I tried to rape my stepsister when
I was sixteen years old - and I cannot block out that horrible memory that is
constantly haunting me anymore - and now tonight the mental anguish and my
trembling has gotten so extreme - that hidden down here in my catacomb chamber
room at the cemetery - I have been constantly rocking my whole body back and
forth in despair and to somehow try and comfort myself - as for the first time
in my life I am now feeling the actual full blow of guilt and remorse for
trying to rape my stepsister - however as I now rock my whole body back and
forth to try and alleviate and somehow shake away my haunting memories and my
mental anguish - I keep thinking of images of some people who have mental
illnesses - and who also twitch and rock their body back and forth - and now I
am also wondering if those people who do that are doing it for the same reason
that I am now - and that is to try and shake off and block out uncomfortable
thoughts that are too overwhelmingly horrible to deal with - and so now I
really feel like I am losing it - and I no longer have the inner-strength to
face myself and the reality of who I really am now that I have been totally
honest with myself - as now I feel so powerless and worn out as my mind keeps
racing with the thoughts and memories from my past that are now constantly
haunting me - I just wish my mind would slow down a bit so I can try and get a
grip on myself and a glimpse of how to somehow get myself through this horrible
state of mental anguish that is driven by my own guilt and remorse - I have
always loved to analyse existence constantly - but now my mind is racing too
much and I cannot deal with my own thoughts that are constantly assaulting and
haunting me - this state of mental anguish is too much for me to deal with and
I do not know what to do anymore.
© Copyright
Adam Shane Lawes
